I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
