She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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