Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
