I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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