You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
