He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
