If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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