It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
