Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my shit smells like andre
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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