You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My ass is underappreciated
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
