The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it because I queefed?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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