I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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