Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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