What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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