I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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