be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
