No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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