i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
