Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
