Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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