Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
