I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
