Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
