I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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