Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
