so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
