why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
