So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
