So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're a disaster
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