Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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