well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
meet me or not, i'm out of control
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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