its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
