you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
