if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
