I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
