I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
