Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
