weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
