Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
