I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
