Those balls look pretty dangerous.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
