1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
