so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
