I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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