He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
