my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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