I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize
