I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
