let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We need a shit load of segways right now
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
