this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
