8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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