The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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