I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
