he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
