Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
